Motivation

Motivation is a really funny thing. All motivation, in my opinion, is relative. I watched the biggest loser yesterday, and I wanted to go run ten miles thinking, I'll never get that big! I used to watch Clean Sweep and want to get rid of everything I own so that my house would never be that cluttered. What I don't understand, is why does motivation always have to be negative? The big majority of my motivation comes from being better than others. I should really try to focus my motivation on bettering myself, rather than being better than someone.
I'm fighting motivation right now. I am not feeling well, and I'm really tired, and honestly, I just want to go to bed. However, I'm trying to get ahead in my classwork, so I SHOULD write a paper for English and work on my government test. Which will I do? Well, I'll probably write the English paper while watching some old TV show on netflix. It'll take me longer, but it won't feel quite as torturous. Regardless, this blog is supposed to find out the why behind my motivation.
One pro I'm missing out on by staying up to do school is that I am missing out on snuggle time with Christopher. (The poor baby is sick, so I KNOW he'd cuddle me!). Strangely, though, I'm not too disappointed about it. The reasoning? He's the reason that I stay up late at night, yes I realize that 8pm isn't late to some, to work on my school work. He's the reason I decided to continue my education. He's even the reason that I went from the easier to the harder online school. I wanted to be more fully prepared for college, so that I had the ability to give him every opportunity.
I've realised that Christopher, and soon to be Aiden, are the healthiest forms of motivation that I have. I'm not trying to be better so that they accept me, and I'm not trying to be better so they like me better than someone else. I choose to better myself so that they can have the best possible future. If I graduate college, I'll be in a better position to encourage them to go to college. If I lead a healthy lifestyle, they'll be more likely to lead a healthy lifestyle. If I finish my classes early, I'll be able to spend time with them and give them both my full attention after Aiden's born without dealing with work or school. Not to mention, when I graduate, I'm showing them that no matter what God throws on your plate, you can ALWAYS rise above and succeed.
My sons will motivate me to be the best that I can be, regardless of how that compares to others around me. There are so many lessons that I hope to teach them as they grow older, but many of those lessons, I'm taught by them without them even knowing.
:)

PS. Sorry it's been a while, like I said, I'm trying to get 4 weeks ahead in school by May!